Another Update (and a bit of emotional release)

I've been MIA.  I've been sleeping and when I'm not sleeping I'm usually not at home.  I've slept the entire summer away; 70% of my time is spent in bed.  To top it all off my concentration abilities are failing lately something fierce.

So where are we?  I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease, which I still don't feel educated properly on.  I have goiter (severe swelling of the thyroid) but an ultrasound didn't show any nodules or worrisome areas.  I'm on my fourth week of Tirosint, another synthetic thyroid hormone (T4).

I don't know if it's the right dose for me (112mg), but I still feel like crap.  I have another blood test on the 15th.  Like I said I am still sleeping like crazy, I am still occasionally finding myself in a low grade depression, I'm still having issues with my weight, I'm still losing my hair.

Even though my Armour thyroid obviously wasn't at the right dosage, I feel like I felt better on that then I do ont he Tirosint.

I was also told that I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which I also don't know much about at this point, but that's why I have elevated testosterone.  My endocrinologist has suggested going back on birth control to solve my symptoms, but I don't know if I want to do that right now, so I haven't.  My energy is depleted and I'm not feeling even motivated to do research.

I'm considering going to a Naturopath.

Honestly.. I feel so lost right now.  I'm writing this blog with very little idea of where to begin and possibly less optimism at the moment that this is going to get better.  I'm angry, really.  I'm angry because I know who I could be if I didn't have underactive thyroid.  I'm angry because I'm afraid that I'll have to deal with this for the rest of my life.  I'm angry because I don't think many people in my life understand how truly truly awful this is.  I'm angry because I have goals and dreams and aspirations that are being put on hold because of this.  And I'm angry because I don't understand, but who could possibly understand why they have hypothyroidism?  I'm also angry because I feel like I'm letting all of this just take control..  But how can I fight it?  Everyday?  I'm so exhausted of fighting my hypothyroidism.  I'm exhausted of being exhausted, of being tired, of having a lingering depression, of gaining weight, of losing my hair, of not being able to concentrate, of brain fog.

And I'm angry because it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm writing this, when I should be sleeping like a normal person, but because I slept until 2 in the afternoon and lounged and such until 8 in the evening and then finally did a few productive things at 10 at night I'm actually awake by 2am.  Here soon I'll get tired again and start the cycle.  If I didn't force myself to be out of bed I'd sleep all day long, even without the productivity at 10pm or the awakeness at 2am.

I'm frustrated tonight/today/whatever you want to call it.  I'm trying not to whine, or complain, but I just had to let all of that out.  I don't know if I feel better, but I'll sleep and hopefully when I wake I won't be in quite as much as a down mood.  Maybe be more optimistic.

Tomorrow

Another (albeit mini) blood letting is scheduled for tomorrow.  On the menu?  More TSH, T3 total, and T4 total,  and Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (to address some confusion with my testosterone results from my previous blood letting).  Of course I'll be updating with my results as soon as I get them.

I've been feeling pretty good, with the occasional mood swing, but still sleeping a lot.  I haven't noticed weight gain at this point, although I will keep that in mind to watch for tomorrow if I am weighed.  I feel like my hair isn't falling out quite as much, which is of course a positive in more than one way.  No sign of my period, and trust me, there is no possible way I could be pregnant.  Overall, I'm hanging in here!!  Still doing the iodine painting, although probably not as regularly as I should.

Look forward to a blog in the near future discussing the problems with Synthroid. :)

And So the Story Goes....

I've been off of all thyroid medication for 11 days.  My symptoms have been this way and that, ranging from insomnia (inzombia?) to irritability to chronic fatigue to a low grade depression.  It's been weird, it's been a battle, it's been..  Interesting to say the least. 

As of today I experienced a bit of insomnia (inzombia) last night and slept about 10 hours following, with frequent wake ups.  That said I feel more myself today and the past few days as well.  Yay!!  

I know this isn't necessarily a common experience, and I still want to write posts on hypothyroidism, so bear with me.

One thing I've noticed is that my menstrual cycle is not on quite right.  My last period ended May 17 and I've not had so much as an inkling of it coming again.  So that's something, I don't know if it is as a result of not taking birth control anymore or because that's still how my body is or if that's the hypothyroidism talking.  Only time will tell!